


before you let go

by WithloveJarell



Series: I Can See your Halo [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Elemental Magic, M/M, Multi, Omega Verse, klance child
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-25 05:29:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17718971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithloveJarell/pseuds/WithloveJarell
Summary: The death anniversary of Lance Kogane, Paladin of the Water, has been announced as a memorial since December 14th of the year 2020.It's been three years since the fateful mission that killed the heart of Voltron and had stolen something from each of their lives.To the Lions, a paladin that had a heart too big not only for his pack but for the universe.To the team, their pack omega that kept everything together. Kept their love together.To Shiro, everything that could have been.To Keith, his lover unfairly ripped away from him too soon, left to mourn over his lost mate while continuing to raise their sweet pup. The pup that looks too much like him while the team lives through the pain.To Akira, his mamma that had given heart to their pack and love to Akira's father, Keith. The Blue paladin, his mamma, Lance Kogane, whom he refused to believe was truly gone.And Lance?Everything (and nothing at all).OrIn which a mission kills Lance in the process of saving his pack and three years later his son isn't willing to believe his mamma's gone like everyone says he is. He's right, but it's much worse than anyone thought.





	1. love me till the day i die

" _To the inhabitants of Earth, human and of the many diverse descendents, united from the fight our soldiers bled against the tyranny of a malicious empire:_

_A tragic incident has fallen upon us. One of which has left a tear that may never heal. For the serenity of the Universe has been disrupted. Our elements out of balance._

_The mission for the liberation of Planet Xierre compromised Voltron, and in effort to save ourselves, the greatest sacrifice was made. One not made from our minds, but made from his heart._

_From his beauty to see life with a kind embrace, for his pure of heart that loved so fiercely...the heart he gave to our Voltron..._

_O-On December 14 as of the year 2020, Earth - and hopefully the entirety of the Universe- will mourn together over the_

_death of the former blue and red paladin of Voltron. Defender of the Universe. Guardian of Water. Friend. Family and pack member. Mother. Husband._

_Lance Kogane_."

Allura finishes the announcement, broadcasted world wide, eyes rimmed red as shock coursed through the roots of the planet and onto public's eyes in disbelief.


	2. run, run, lost boy (they say to me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "W-What happened to momma?"  
> The question startles Coran's hand from his tool, the metal clinking against the ground loud enough to echo down the empty halls of the Garrison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira is presently around ten.

  
_**"Arrorró mi niño**_

_**Arrorró mi sol...** _

There's a soft melody that hums through the air, a soothing lullaby weighing down his lids, as the gentle blue glow of the lights blends with the black of space and the white of stars. The room is warm, and the honeyed aroma wrapped around his small form like a blanket.

_**...Arrorró pedazo,** _

_**de mi corazón.** _

The sweet voice fills his chest with elation when coos rumble in his throat and words cannot be said.

He finds solace with the hand running through his hair.

_**...Este niño lindo** _

_**ya quiere dormir;** _

_**háganle la cuna de rosa y jazmín."** _

"M-Momma."

...

"W-What happened to momma?"

The question startles Coran's hand from his tool, the metal clinking against the ground loud enough to echo down the empty halls of the Garrison.

It takes one of the mice squeaking at the Altean to come to his senses after a few seconds. The action is nothing new to Akira.

Coran's mustache twitches before he looks at the boy with an almost bittersweet smile. Ruffling Akira's dark, wavy hair, Coran turns back to the disassembled cryopod to gaze back at his cyan reflection, but it's as if he's looking through the glass. As if someone were in the pod.

"I believe your father told you many yea...some time ago."

Akira has to smile at the way the ginger tries hard to come up with the time measurements. Sometimes the man would mix his own language with those of Earth, what with his travels around the world when he and Allura first became acquainted with the planet. The Altean would become enraptured with speaking about the many places of Earth, and Allura spoke of how fascinating there was such a plethora of different cultures. Just in one tiny planet. ("Did you know that the United States once belonged to the British Empire?" Or "The country of India has many beautiful spices I just had to try with my traditional Altean dishes!" but Akira would let them have their fun sharing facts he was mostly aware of).

Akira feels himself shrink in his seat on top of the counter, though.

Coran was right. It had been some time.

Time when his father had sat him down on that pouring day in the desert, to tell him something that could only exist in the darkest parts of Akira's nightmares. Where the shock consumed him whole, swallowed his voice to the point where he could feel his heartbeat ringing in his ears.

And there was nothing but that.

Only the skyrocketing tremors of his heart that wracked through his quaking form, as his father's arms pillowed him to warm him of the freezing shock in his bones. Crying until he couldn't feel the tears sliding down his cheeks. Until his body exhausted itself of his sobs, dying into whimpers through the leather of his father's jacket.

But Coran was wrong, too. It would be more.

More than just some time.

Three years.

Akira can still feel the numbness at the corner of his heart.

"I j-just thought," the boy looked down, dark blue eyes intently staring at the mice. They squeaked at each other and then scurried out through the vents (probably after smelling Uncle Hunk in the kitchen). He mentally encourages himself to soldier through this, wishing that the least he could do is have the normalcy of speaking a full sentence without his stutters teetering his anxiousness over the edge. "... it's going t-to be three years since ...since mamma's been gone."

There's a sharp intake of breath from Coran, and Akira feels his chest flood with shame at the amount of damage he's already doing.

It takes a lot to mention momma to his family, his pack. Much with his Dad. An Admiral in the Garrison had learned that the hard way, mentioning momma's name in spite that one day. They shouldn't have been surprised from receiving a good punch to the mouth from Akira's half-galran father. Akira had never seen his father so stricken with white hot anger, where his body had barreled into the terrified Admiral and forced him down to the ground in a matter of seconds. The purple splotching from the scar on his jaw and his eyes holding a feral look to them. Akira had to keep his gasp in in fear of one of the Galran or Altean ears catching him peeking through the crevices behind the closet door (his pack hadn't found it appropriate yet that he would be introduced into the war so early, especially with the briefings, yet). It had taken nearly everyone in the briefing room to tear apart the enraged Black paladin off the ignorant face of the Admiral. After that, the man hadn't dared to make the slightest implication about his mother.

Talking to Coran made Akira more comfortable. Made him want to know more.

He could see it in the Altean's eyes that he secretly loved talking about momma too. Yet, Akira never received a response about what happened **that** day.

"My boy, I miss him too. . . you know he was like a son to me." The ginger placed everything down to look Akira in the eye. A watery stare that broke him.

And how could Akira not know? That fatherly expression that would come over the Altean's face, one so fond and warm that spread from the curl of his lips to the tips of his mustache brushing his cheeks.

The ten year-old forbid himself from crying at the moment, feeling like such a baby to be sobbing over a simple talk. Coran had lost his home along with his family. 

but in a way, Akira had lost his world.

"I don't-t want to forget, Uncle Coran. I'm scared that one d-day. . ." Akira swallowed, "-one day I might forget his scent. The sound of his voice. I hardly even remember when he was here."

Coran willed himself to not tear up in front of the young pup.

"What you should always remember is that he **loved** you with all that he had. He loved your father. He loved his pack. He wanted you to love as well. Love the memories you have of him and love what you have now. We love you, Akira. Our little cub."

 A coo from the back of Akira's mind warmed his chest,

_**'mi bebe'** _

The flashback was so sudden it scared him. It was why he asked about momma sometimes, where the flash of memories served as momma's presence. The love of an omega for his pup.

Akira wouldn't say that he was afraid to ask his dad about momma. That would imply that he was afraid of him overall. Which could never be true.

Keith made sure Akira knew that he was the most precious thing to him. Had been the one to tuck him in every night no matter how much Akira complained that he was getting old enough for ("Well I'm not getting any younger" Keith rumbled softly before attacking his pup with cuddles and nuzzles). There was never a moment Akira had doubted his father's care and love for him.

He taught Akira how to take care of himself with his self-defense classes ("I can't lose him too. . .Shiro, I don't know how I'll live if-" "-I know, brother. . . And we won't fail him).

He was so patient with Akira's anxiety and made him feel secure with not only his surroundings but with himself ("I'm here pup. I'll be here as long as you need me" Keith soothed, hugging his trembling child as he was about to enter in his first day at the Garrison).

The Alpha was always looking after his pup when he could and especially prioritized his family, his pack, over his leadership duties of Voltron.  Akira thrived in the looks of jealousy he received from the other cadets. To have a father as cool as his? They wished.

Sometimes, when he wasn't as exhausted as some days from managing a whole total of five robotic lions, his father would join Akira on the roof to tell the stories of Voltron, where there was a time the war had to be pushed away from Earth, where home was nothing but incentive for victory. To recount his time at the Blade, but never too much, as a hollow and sad look crossed his indigo eyes. Times like these, whatever time Akira could get with his Dad, he valued fiercely. His father who loved him so. And he would never get tired of saying that.

And at one point, his father would talk about mamma.

With a tenderness in his voice. Chest vibrating softly in a weak purr that was becoming a rare occurrence. Where Akira would lean his head on and fall asleep to, the black paladin running sword rough fingers through his son's midnight hair. That Akira had his momma's big blue eyes and smatter of cute little freckles. So clumsy and silly. Where Akira would protest at the claim and his father would nearly tickle him until he laughed to near death. Times like these, whatever time Akira could get with his father, he valued fiercely. He kept his father so close to his heart it scared him. That one day he could lose him the same way Momma was lost.

Lost. Gone.

That's what his father said, face strained and eyes glazed, as if the man wasn't completely present or there. Wasn't complete. Was broken. But he never said the word Dead. Like he couldn't believe it either.

Dead.

That's what most said. It's what the Garrison said. A body never found.

Where the non-existent dot on the tracker of the blue suit meant no vitals were active. Nothing to prove that he was alive, everything to show that he was gone (or so he heard from his hiding spot under the deck of the Atlas, those few days after the news).

Missing.

That's what Akira said. That's what he thought the moment everyone said momma was gone. When they announced his death.

That's what he said to himself, when he would sneak into the lion's hangar and saw Shiro staring blankly at the blue lion with a look in his eyes that Akira never could pinpoint.

when once Aunt Pidge's eyes looked more bloodshot than her usual 'four-hours-of-sleep' look.

when he had secretly heard Aunt Allura had commented to the mice once that she could feel the weight of feeling a thousand years more older.

when Coran's peppy demeanor flattened once in a while.

when Uncle Hunk stared off into space while cooking in the kitchen.

When his father spent some nights in the red lion and walked out with a shaky voice and his hair a mess, face pale and exhausted. Almost shaking his head to come back to reality when he saw Akira's blue eyes staring at him.

Akira was determined to make this end.

His momma is missing.

Because the Garrison was lying.

And Akira was going to find him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Spanish lullaby Lance was singing in English, in respect to those who aren't familiar with speaking the language:  
> Hush-a-by my baby  
> Hush-a-by my sun  
> Hush-a-by piece of my heart  
> This pretty child  
> wants to sleep  
> Make him a cradle  
> of rose and jasmine
> 
> Of course, it looks a bit strange in English translation, but it's a very calming piece in Spanish.  
> Since this is an A/B/O AU, pack dynamics will be used. Lance is, of course, dubbed as 'Momma,' due to the fact that he was an omega and gave birth to Akira probably some time before they reached Earth.
> 
> As for my cinnamon roll Akira, he may be depressing in the first few chapters, but as a ten year old, it won't follow his personality as much. Since he does have a bit of Keith and Lance's blood in him, lol.


End file.
